Friendsgiving | Lauren Ledbetter Design
Detail - Flowering Almond in a Glass by Vincent Van Gogh
Things to look forward to in October
2. Halloweentown 2 Kalabar’s Revenge
3. Halloweentown High
4. Return to Hallloweentown
I’m legitimately lost on Broad Street in Downtown #Charleston but I don’t mind much. I’m so thankful to live in a city that holds endless beauty on every street corner.
I realized today that I make up excuses in my head for people on a regular basis. I always say things like “oh they’re too busy” or “him not texting me for a week and showing back up is okay because it’s a lesson I need to learn in not being so attached to people”.
But they’re not busy and it’s not some sort of masochistic lesson you need to force upon yourself. It’s called denial. It’s called being way too damn nice to people that don’t deserve your time. And frankly, it needs to end.
I spent the better half of 2014 caring about people, one in absolute particular, that didn’t deserve my time or my energy. He would show up, disappear without a trace, then rinse, wash, repeat. it was exhausting and annoying and even heart-breaking at times. I cried so much because of one stupid human and it makes me angry to think I let it go on for so long.
It’s never okay to compromise your feelings for the affection of someone else. Never.
Fortunately, I have met someone else and everything is going great. For the first time since high school I’m actually letting my friends meet this boy and spend time with us. Going on double dates and taking him with me to birthday parties. I’ve never been that girl - I’ve never let anyone stay around long enough for me to feel comfortable enough to parade around with me or allow my friends to get equally emotionally invested in a person that I could decide in a matter of a few days that I was done with. All the others have always been at arm’s length, with me on the other end of the arm anticipating him to make it clear that all he wants from me is sex.
But this guy is different. He’s sweet and nerdy. He prefers reading books and watching classic t.v. over partying and spending his nights out in all the bars. He talks, Jesus he talks, and that works out for me because at the end of the day I don’t want to talk and I love nothing more than hearing him ramble on about stories from back in North Carolina. His taste in music is different than mine, as are his book, movie, and alcohol choices, but I like learning new things from him. He spent an afternoon baking apple bread for me. APPLE BREAD. Like, yes, forreal.
I don’t want to jinx this at all. It’s only been a month and we only just had our first kiss two days ago, but I’m thankful for our relationship awkwardness and the slow start. It’s been so nice to consider letting that arm fall loose and letting him take my hand because I don’t have to worry about keeping him at such a far distance.
I know truth and time tell all, in the words of Justin Bobby, and I’m prepared to take the time to let the truth be told. I’m prepared to stop letting people break my heart when they don’t deserve to know it in the first place. September, you’ve been good to me. I can’t wait to see what October has in store.